choke media empire - a home for budget rock, garage punk and other shingle and shake music.

DECEMBER 22nd
Many things happened since I typed in some wise sentences last time. The ROCK AND ROLL ADVENTURE KIDS finished their second euro tour, very successfully as we heard by now, and they are back on the left side of USA, hosting a festival called "Trashcanfransico bash" from december 31st until jan 3rd, four days at various venues. Confirmed are bands like legendary stardust cowboy, the loosing streaks (sac), the flakes, no bunny, rock n roll adventure kids (of course), fuck mods we are the rockers, the shankers (chico), the guilty hearts (la), the cormans (la), the jinxes (la) et cetera. sounds like fun to me.

After the annual choke media empire general business meeting we are looking forward to the first show in 2009, MISS CHAIN & THE BROKEN HEELS are stopping by at the PMK Innsbruck to play the most awesome show with the bavarian rocketeers a.k.a. MONDO RAY, plus the caped crusaders from gotham city are also on the bill, this time with full backing back! BATMAN & ROBIN and the PRISONERS COMBO!!!! Thanks to local snowboard pimps / pimpettes XDOUBLE and SWEET DREAM who are providing some cash. Details on that show HERE, and dont ferget, its happening on JANUARY 5TH!!! buckle up!

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So the ROCK AND ROLL ADVENTURE KIDS are back to europe! The tour starts tomorrow, wednesday, and on thursday they're gonna tear up the Project Club in Innsbruck, Austriah! and its a CHOKE MEDIA EMPIRE SHOWCASE so expect some debauchery, awesomeness and stupidity.

If you manage to pick up the latest issue of the austrian edition of VICE MAGAZINE you can find a review / interview with Bachelor Recording artist BATMAN & ROBIN, yes, its essential.

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OCTOBER 20th
Believe it or not - I survived THE MUMMIES!!!! I barely remeber any detail but i have the PROVE that i have been there, a big number of photographers were able to capture images of my face and body. The trip to Valencia, Spain was totally worth it, met some stars (Garagekid, Kurt Bloch, Jakob Makeout) and starlettes (hey! I'll call you soon... uhmm... rosalinda?!), and even some kaputniks called Rik Dingles and Ole Rompon... but stop it... i dont have more memory than that.

Back to the daily life at the most promising media empire this country of austria ever seen... we've got two shows lined up! First one is today, with KEPI THE BAND (sacramento, ca, usa) which is of course the new pop punk vehicle of the former ringleader of the GROOVIE GHOULIES!!! Dont miss this night of scary stories about bigfoots, ghouls, vampires and returners.... in catchy pop punk clothes! On thursday its time for one of the best punkrock bands at this time, OFF WITH THEIR HEADS! Go to the shows page for details! Now!

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SEPTEMBER 24th
Though many european cities claim to have the best looking girls, Innsbruck isn't just boasting. Beside of that, we have the best punk rock shows, just look HERE to see what finger lickin bands we've rounded up just for the month of october.
You may also discover that we are - after a long time of abstinence - back at the good old PMK club. Sort of a year-round party place that the PMK was years ago, we had a lot of fun there and word on street was that CHOKE MEDIA EMPIRE and PMK club were a perfect couple, maybe just like Schnitzel and beer, before it went all-out commercial and even radio stations like effemvier held threw some shows there - which isnt a bad thing, just to get it right here okeh? The result was: bracket wearing snowboard jocks and their oh-so-alternative bettys with brand new Vans(TM) and a tramp stamp crowded the place and made it look like a mess and my rare appearances nearly turned into a punk-fest. Now those kinda dudes and dudettes are wasting time at some other places and we are trying to get this shithole back on the tracks of rocarol entertainmend, and it would be a surprise if we wouldn't succeed....

BACHELOR RECORDS (yes, one of the few labels that actually dont suck and put out super-limited crapola) is happy with the latest platters who both turned out to be hit singles, you can also call them: HUNX - Good Kisser and THE PHARMACY / JAPANTHER split 7". In other label news, advertising representative and secretary Mindy Hecht told us that other recording artists are in the studio soon, namely THE FLAKES, aaaaand that the SNEAKY PINKS are ready to mail their songs for the 7" version of the "Loner with a boner / We're the Punkles" Cassingle - as soon as they find someone who actually can rip the cassingle to usable .wav format.... gosh. well, professionals aways work with professionals.

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AUGUST 29th
Thanks to everyone who showed up last friday when BEAT BEAT made their Innsbruck Debut, it was a hell of a show! By the way, for all who snoozed on the BEAT BEAT "Without You" 7", its available again, we did a little repress, cover and everything is the same (silkscreened) only the sticker on the back cover is new. We made BEAT BEAT do it again, this time with correct spelling. not 100%, but its the best version they had to offer...

In other news, we booked a lot of shows, all in october, so start saving your hard earned monies. Details are HERE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAND WE HAVE UPDATED OUR DISTRO LIST! if you want some fine vinyls, take a look... and drop us a line to see if everything is still in stock!

There are two new records out soon, on BACHELOR, both titles are in the pressing plant as we speak, HUNX - Good Kisser // Cruisin' 7" and THE PHARMACY / JAPANTHER split 7". Our intern, Mindy Hecht, has uploaded two songs on this fancy thing called myspace so click here and dance nakkid to the blockrockkin beats.

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JULY 14th
BEAT BEAT is playing Innsbruck on AUGUST 15th! Check out the info on the SHOWS section. The 7" on our own Bachelor Records imprint (in coop with germany's Milk & Chocolate Records) sold out in about a week or so. We will repress some more copies soon, I promise!
Talking about represses: THE FEELERS "Nothing Always" 7" and the POPPETS "Pre-Party" 7" also have their 2nd edition... if you snoozed the first time, now you got another possibility to grab a copy.
We also updated our distro...sooooo..... click here, not here.

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MARCH 15th
A little time has passed since I had the opportunity to communicate a choke media showcase, but now time has come. We invited some lowlifes from Atlanta, Georgia.... THE CARBONAS!!! This firecracker will come to an explosion at the "Project", a tiny bar next to the PMK Club, supporting them are THE MUGWUMPS, austriah's finest three-piece, Garage/Pop/Punk at high volume. Oh mee goodness, dont miss this. We only have alimited amount of tickets available, we dont wanna overcrowd the Project bar, so be sure to come early or reserve a ticket via email. For additional info and sound examples click here.

BACHELOR RECORDS NEWS: The two latest releases, THE YOLKS - Wandering 7" and the BOYS CLUB - 2-D World - are going fast, very fast, the POPPETS - Pre-Party 7" was sold out in about 2 weeks, so now we are waiting for the screenprinted sleeves for the BEAT BEAT 7"... hope them sleeves arrive soon. I just heard that this "band" is set to play a show in Graz next month, with DIGGER & PUSSYCATS from Orstralia.

If anyone has the phone number of this kid Fred from ZAXXON RECORDS / MAILORDER from Canada, please pass it to me, he owes me some money and well, as cool as he is, Freddie does not reply to my emails... buhu.... yeah, fucked up situation but what can you do, most mailorders and distros are really easy to deal with but sometimes you get ripped off...

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JANUARY 29th
So, believe it or not I am really putting together all the crap for the next issue of our zine, and I'm kinda dizzy cause doing layouts and listening to bad records at a time is getting on mee nerves. I think its not gonna be a perfect issue cause i am totally lost in all the reeviews and half-done interviews, dont blame me. It's just that I dont feel like continuing and interview like the one I started with HEAD who are obviosly as lazy and monosyllabic as everybody says they are.

I got a lot of orders for the new POPPETS 7" called "Pre-Party" which is a big surprise cause its another debut record on our label. Soon the POPPETS will have two more 7"es, on on PLASTIC IDOL Records from Sactro, California and one from Santa Rosa, California called BUBBLEDUMB Records. They are also releasing great records by NO BUNNY (that Sneaky Pinks guy) and ERIC AND THE HAPPY THOUGHTS (yeah, that ROMANCE NOVELS guy). You should of course buy all, after you have purchased all BACHELOR RECORDS releases.

Oh, THE YOLKS and the BOYS CLUB 7"es are in the pressing plant right now and should be ready in about 3 weeks I hope. by this time the BEAT BEAT 7" is also done (fingers crossed). Mucho trabajo in the Bachelor Camp.

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NEW YEAR.
Okeh so maybe we do another punk rock show. Any problems with that? Innsbruck is so boring right now. Indie Pop is taking over, that crappy so called "alternative rock and roll" club is fukken ridiculous, no one really goes to shows and organizing things at the PMK has become a drag. The venue that has become our basis is a semi-professional playground for a lot of BAD things. Bummer. Let's hope this ship that has hit an iceberg in 2007 will not sink anywhen soon.

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WE'RE DONE.
Yes, no more shows, no more shows! We're done, stressed out, unmotivated and sore... but wait, there are so many other good shows in Innsbruck, Austriah hahaha... yeah. Of course not! Well, I dunno how long this hiatus will go on, but don't expect live shows anytime soon. No turn off your computer or blackberry and cry.

The new issue of our zine will have interviews and writings aboout GRAHAM DAY & THE GALOERS, THE KA-NIVES, THE FLAKES, SUSPICIONS, THEE MAKEOUT PARTY, BEACH PATROL and some more i cannot remember right now. I just put some promo CDs on ebay so keep em coming, i need cash. This also goes out to record labels and other investors: book yerself a fine ad in our zine, and help finance another installment / disaster. thanks.

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LAST CHOKE MEDIA EMPIRE SHOW!!! EVER!!!
So... pfew....CHIX/RANDELLS were bomb. The place wuss packed, sorry for the techno DJ who did his "duty" after the show... but we did not book this dumbfcuk, it was the bar owner who booked TWO different things for this tuesday nite... what a bad idea. No wonder that within 10 minutes after the show the "club" was empty... well the drinking and babbling of the bands and local scenesters continued on the sidewalk outside the club, Bianca was drunk, Andy7ybl was sweaty, da cruz bros were kinda shy (mabbe because one had to drive...) and garagekid tried to get drunk so hard, but i think he did not concede the goal he was aiming for: unconsiousness. Well one week frum now, OCTOBER 31.... he WILL be drunk, I promise!!!! Ha!. Wanna see it? Then come to our LAST SHOW EVER! See show section for details... i'm off for playing strip poker. cheers!

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LAST BUT ONE CHOKE MEDIA EMPIRE SHOW!!!
...on tuesday october 16th, with SUB POP (uargh!) and FAT WRECK (sic!) recordings stars CHIXDIGGIT! (YAY!!!) and DIRTNAP (whoo!) and ALIEN SNATCH (rrrrrauu!) artists RIFF RANDELLS at the little bar called PROJECT, located next to the PMK watering hole. LIMITED AMOUNT OF TIX AVAILABLE. really, this is no joke. we dont want to many kids inside the club cause its not funny if you need more than 5 minutes to go to the bar and order a beer, schnapps or long island ice tea. show starts early, and yeah, until 11 pm some drinks are "happy hour-ed" so come and kill some brain cells you stinkers!

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FANKS FANKS FANKS!!!
Cheers to all the kids who showed up at the last....uhm... shows we did!!! REALLY!!! We're still counting the monies!!! LIVE FAST DIE! shocked quite some peeps cause they played twice as fast as on their rekurds. Maybe it was the schnitzel, maybe it was the Bottle of Jägermeister Camaro drank before he crawled up on stage, I dunno... BATMAN & ROBIN played their tightest set ever (well, as if this would be a compliment...) and the rest of the par-tee was soaked in vodka and gin. HICKS!!!

On to new shores mee friends, CHIXDIGGIT is coming!!!!! These poppunks from CANADA play 10 (!!!!) shows on this euro trek and one of them at the PROJECT in Innsbruck, Austriah!!! Support: THE RIFF RANDELLS, all-girl powerpop, also from Canada!!!! GO TO THE SHOWS PAGE FOR DEEEETAILS!!! NOW!!!

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LIVE! FAST! DIE!
This friday we're about to kick your bums again, kids. Well, in fact its not our duty to kick ass, we just serve the drinks. Your behind is gonna be penetrated by USA's own LIVE FAST DIE, a dirty rotten rocanrol combo that doesnt take prisoners. Also on the bill are BATMAN & ROBIN, a rather old duo from the DC universe. Musicianship, professionalism and high fidelity sound are just three terms BATMAN & ROBIN do not represent. Its exactly the opposite. More info on the shows page and of course on our myspace department at www.myspace.com/chokemediaempire. Arf! Arf!

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ONE DOWN - 4 TO GO!
Great show of the New York Power Poppers BABY SHAKES at the Project in Innsbruck last friday... but that was onlee the first show in a row of great choke media festivities... next is up this friday, with the RED DONS from Portland and THE ZATOPEKS from London, this time at the PMK, more space to par-tee!!!! Yikes!!!!!!! For listening exampmles please go to our myspace ghetto.

Oh, and there are a bunch of singles coming out on our label BACHELOR RECORDS later this year... whut about the zine you ask? yeah yeah... time flies...

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BACK FROM VACATION!
After shooting clay pigeons at some yacht in Asinara, Sardinia, Italy, we're back in the Austriah to soak our brains at the next choke media empire punkrock extravaganzas. Starting this friday, august 31st, with USA's yummiest girl band, BABY SHAKES, from new york, new york. Okay, there's one guy in the band, pounding the skins, but he has to feather up his hear and wear mascara and a giant push up bra with melons in it to look like a real WOMAN! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! He doesnt know yet, but its in the contract. it's waterproof. we've got good lawyers.

Then, one week later, the RED DONS will invade austri-a-ye for the very first time. Former OBSERVERS members and CLOROX GIRLS touring machines - so dont ask if this evening will be a rrrrrreal uppercut in your punk rock face. And not to ferget: the ZATOPEKS, party animalsand entertainers from London, England will open this show.

For more info, mpthrees and whutnot, go to the shows page.

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SUMMER FUN SUMMER FUN SKINNY DIPPIN YAYA!
About 14 days ago the latest 7" on our BACHELOR RECORDS label arrived from the pressing plant, now its almost gone. If you wanna have a copy of this BATMAN & ROBIN "Who the fuck is superman" 45 write me soon. Some mailorders also should have some copies left. At the same time the first full lenght on BACHELOR came out too, its THE MUGWUMPS debut record called "Banana Brain", also available directly from us or selected distros. Don't miss their release shows next weekend, both are free and the JIZZ KIDS from the Netherlands will open the shows. Dont be stupid and miss this two shows, its gonna be a mess. the first one is in a disco at the countryside, the second in Innsbruck at the Yellowstone Country Saloon plus the Two-Monkeys-On-Acid DJ team. uhg.

To give you a reason to spend monies and get wasted, we booked some shows. A lot of shows. BABYSHAKES from New York, New York, RED DONS from Portland, ZATOPEKS from the UK, LIVE FAST DIE! from... uhm, I think they fell of from some garbage truck, and BATMAN & ROBIN of course, our superhero friends with no brain. Go to the SHOWS thingy to find out whenm where and WHY!!!

Okeh, I'm gonna take a nap know... zzzzzZZZ

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IT IS ABOUT TIIIIME!!!!
for some news. Thanks evry-one for showing up, we all had a blast, the bands, the kids and even all of us chokies cause we had not one but TWO nights of free drinks at the PEEMKAY. On the second day, at 6 AM, we were all so excited that we agreed on doing such a thing every weekend! I'm thankful that we all forgot about it 10 minutes after...

The last show before we're taking a break is on saturday JUNE 30th with the outstandin, breathtakin, bellyshakin INTELLECTUALS from Rome, Italy and some strange but nice kids from Vienna who call themselves VORTEX REX. Don't miss this or you are the lamest kid on the block. Rilly. Its gonna be a PMK APE HOUSE again. Grab your bananas and dance.

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GO AWAY PLEASE
We just got the posters and flyers for the CHOKE FEST! which will be taking place at the PMK HIDEOUT Innsbruck in about three weeks. You can gather information about this two-nighter, the bands, etc. right HERE. There will be a limited amount of tickets available so if you wanna get sure to get in please drop us a line or come early on day one. No, there will be no one day ticket, sorry.

I just checked with the pressing plant and it seems that both new BACHELOR RECORDS releases will be here in time for this fest, THE ELEKTRAS debut 7" with four tracks and the long awaited THE FEELERS "Nothing Always" 7" with three songs. Last month we got THE SUSPICIONS "First Love" 7" which is going fast, plus the repress of the CLOROX GIRLS "Double Mao" 7", now on red transparent vinyl. Relatively unknown are the ROCK AND ROLL ADVENTURE KIDS, but if everything turns out good they will have their new record on a well known label from California, plus a Euro tour this fall. Meanwhile listen to the two amazing tracks on their "Hot Dog" 7", Bachelor Records of course.

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BACK FROM NYC
PowerPop can be exhausting. More will follow soon. We've got some new shows booked, new releases on our label BACHELOR RECORDS, more to come in may, plus that bomb called CHOKE FEST will explode in about 1.5 months... busy busy...

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WILD WILD WILD
Check out the photos Signore Tiberio Sorvillo took at our last orgy, THE KING KHAN & BBQ SHOW last thurst-day. What a mess...

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HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY YOU IDIOTS
No valentines day blah blah here my friends. We talking business again! HA! Well, it was uff course no surprise that the CLOROX GIRLS single on our own BACHELOR RECORDS imprint sold out faster that Justin can say "AWWWSUM!!!" and the next two err---- or three 7"es are in the works... busy busy times but thats the secret of our success, keep the machine hoopin and hollerin and beside of spending some of the "hard earned" monay on chewing gum and hair conditioners (man i got dandruff!!!) most of it is re-invested. Yeah, we know all about things like furthering the company and blah blah. Why you ask doofus? Cause i slept with a management consultant once and these kinda wurds made her frisky as a baboon on cocaine...
Oh, before I forget... dont be a munki munki and miss THE KING KHAN & BBQ SHOW at the PMKAY rathole in Innsbruck's onlee hobo district, its gonna be a mess. Although the show takes place on feb-ruh-ary 22nd, a thursday, all finks and fräuleins will be frolickin to the dancable rocanrol tunes them boys will deliver like its sattaday nite.... believe me. Trust me. Call in sick on friday! Yay! For more info click here!

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LOTS OF BOOZE AND LOTS OF RAMBLIN
I've decided not to write a lot of updates here, maybe two per month, thats more than enough i think, and knowing how thick you are i try to put this here as simple as possible. Most of you kids won't even waste your time reading this at all, we ain't got any ringtones, myspace layouts or nakkid girls. [The girls are in the print magazine so better buy some soon.] So, our money machine a.k.a BACHELOR RECORDS took the next step to become a global player in record label business with the release of the CLOROX GIRLS "Double Mao" 7", another soon-to-be classic. Saw them last satta-day in munich, with the new line-up, a bit poppier than before, but still they crank out fast hipshakin' tunes!!! More hipshakin' than the HIPSHAKES, thats fer sure!
I remember it very well, t'was december 2005, when we did the last ish of our print zine... so why not do a new issue soon huh? Well, for all those who asked in the last months... its been done soon! Maybe the new issue is gonna see the light of day in february, keep your fingers crossed. Don't expect this issue number 11 to be informative and funny, no sir, its gonna be the same crap-o-la. I've got a very long list of things I hate and a very short list of thinks I DO LIKE.... choke zine has always been about things we like so dont be surprised to find some things in it that may be childish and opinionated.
If you wanna commit suicide this month, be sure to do it after the REAL TURDS came to town to witness one unique rocanrol(TM) monster. Listen to the MP3s on their website to become a followere of their organ-driven punkrock and roll anthems. Or stay at home and rearrange your sock drawer you loser.

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WHUT? 3 MONTHS?
Well, time flies, tippyteens, and in the last three months you poor guys and gals had no possability to hear the latest gassip from international garage punk superheroes, had no guideline whut rekkids to buy and which ones are to avoid. Maybee you even got misled by false prophets went to a britpop concert. Shame on you. MEA CULPA I say, but I had way better things to do than to bring another gazillion Euros in the CHOKE MEDIA EMPIRE repertory. A real impresario never sleeps - he invests some dosh! The wittiest, clevererest and .... uhm... well, about two of you already unraveled the reason behind this hiatus... we started a record label! Yessa, the BACHELOR RECORDS imprint, our new cash-cow, made some buzz in other important gazzettes of our microcosm, and this mee friends is not a resulting from pure chance. NO SIR!!! Running a record label is not a busy-ness for Simple Simons, it takes a lot of experience, wisdom, decisionmakin' and uff course LEADERSHIP. So I had to concentrate all our strenghts and concentration on this project. Not 24-7, okeh... we soaked our brains several times at CHOKE MEDIA SHOWS, yeah, why not BUT I had no time to finish the next issue of our print publication or update our web department. Now... we are back...so buckle up. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>